Many of you are probably flying somewhere for the holidays. And some of you might be doing it with a very demanding little companion for the first time. It can be dread-inducing, right?
We’ve actually been pretty lucky as far as flights with Hudson have gone. No hostage situations on icy tarmacs. No solo sojourns. No vomit. (Yet.) Sure there were poop-explosions and a couple of crying bouts: he had a tooth literally break through the gum as we took our seats to fly home from St. Lucia. They paused the safety announcement because passengers probably couldn’t hear how to fasten their seat-belts over the wailing 10-month-old in the back.
Still, we’ve logged many hours in the air these first 16 months, including a cross-country flight at 8-weeks and a trip to (and from) Bali with three legs that added up to 40-hours of travel each way this past summer.
We talked before about favorite travel gear. Now, here are a few of my best travel tips for flying with a baby or toddler. Buckle-up… it’s a long one…
Before the you get to the airport:
Schedule your flight for when the baby sleeps. Whether or not this means flying on a red-eye is a bit more complicated. I never wanted to fly red-eye when Hudson was a tiny infant because I felt like, if he didn’t sleep, it could be so much worse (everyone else quiet and trying to sleep and terribly angry at our colicky baby). But we still tried to time every flight to naps or at least push a nap so that he’d sleep through as much of the flight as possible. That’s the goal. Now, with his predictable sleep-through-the -night routine, I’d choose a red-eye, no question.
Decide whether or not to purchase the baby a seat. They don’t have to have their own until they’re two–but it might be worth it to have one if you’re flying long-haul. There’s no way we would have survived those flights to Bali without Hudson having a seat. It meant we had a whole row to stretch out in, make a mess in, etc. We brought his carseat and could sleep well knowing he was strapped in and not in danger of rolling onto the floor in the middle of the night. Having a carseat will also leave their hands free and allow you to lower your tray table as well as theirs.
Choose an aisle seat for one or both of you (if you’re lucky enough to be traveling with your partner). We always have sat beside each other, but others have suggested having aisle seats across from each other–and that could work out really well, too.
Confirm your airline’s policies for luggage allowances. Make sure that your baby is on the ticket as a lap infant if he or she doesn’t have a seat. If you’re bringing on a carseat, will it fit? Check before you get to the airport.
Get your baby a passport, if traveling internationally, well in advance.
Pack strategically. Imagine yourself at the airport and going through security. Can you manage it all? Pack your carry-on with a change of clothes for the baby and more diapers than you think you’ll need. Put a small bag within the bag that can stay at your feet with those things you think you might be accessing often: blanket, distractions, snacks or bottles.
Dress strategically, too: For using the bathroom with one hand. And nursing–if you still are–comfortably. I didn’t buy too many nursing-specific clothes, but I really liked wearing one on flights where Hudson was likely to fall asleep on me (something like this
Have a sleep routine in place that both you and your partner know. In stressful moments, it’s easy to snap at each other. We found that the more we’re in sync about what happens next, what to try when the baby seems overtired, etc., the better. Moreover, getting the baby to sleep in an unfamiliar setting is easier if you can pull out familiar sleep cues–like a song or a book.
On board:
Say hello to the flight attendant and introduce him or her to your child–especially if you’re traveling alone. They just may end up being your best ally. Our flight attendant on our Frankfurt-to-Bangkok leg brought Hudson a toy and then offered to let him crawl up and down on the stairs between economy and business class!
Double check that you have everything you’d need for the baby at your feet. (What if, say, turbulence were to force you to stay seated? This has happened to us a surprising number of times.)
And get set up. If they are in a carseat (and on a flight that still gives out blankets), tuck a blanket underneath the seat and connect it to the seat pocket in front of them. It can save you from fishing too deep for every toy that gets tossed overboard.
Try to have your child sucking on something or chewing something at take-off and landing. Most moms with infants use this time to nurse. Just don’t start too early: planes can taxi for what feels like an eternity.
Break all your rules! Snacks! Movies! Photobooth with your iPhone!
If there are two adults on a meal-service flight, see if you can stagger your meals. Some attendants are willing (others are not) to hold one meal until their next trip down the aisle.
Enjoy it when they sleep: Either sleep yourself (a must if it’s a red-eye), or finally watch a movie and have a glass of wine with your partner. (That splitter comes in handy again!) I think one of my favorite “dates” with Aron was that flight with 8-week-old Hudson; I was worried we’d never see a new(ish)-release movie together again and voila!
And finally:
Relax! It usually goes better than you’d think. And when it doesn’t, you at least will have a good survival story (and often some wonderful vacation memories, to boot.)
What am I missing?
P.S. Note that these are all based on what has worked for us. You know your baby best!
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
These are all brilliant! You guys should write a book. Seriously. I especially love the “tuck in the blanket” tip. It sounds very MacGuyver-ish.
A few tips of my own:
-Wear slip-on shoes for security.
-Always anticipate a delay on the runway.
-If you have an under-2, call the airline the moment you book your flights online to reserve the bulkhead row. Sometimes they have a fold-down bassinet.
-Ignore people who give you dirty looks/comments for daring to “interrupt their flight” with your (normally-behaving) child. You have as much right to fly anywhere with your child as they do. Also, you’ll never see them ever again.
Thankfully, Ed, Alex, and I are spending this Christmas in NY! Happy holidays!
Thanks, Alli! That is so true regarding a delay on the runway. The longest we waited was an extra hour–which still felt crushing when our four hour flight suddenly was five–but I’ve heard horror stories about being stuck on the tarmac or in the terminal with delays. You really do have to try and tell yourself: just a day, just a day…
Hi Ashley – great tips, thank you! Flying with a little one is definitely a challenge… It’s interesting, I actually have had the best luck (and this has been when flying with at least one other adult) when we have requested or paid for a window and a middle seat in the bulkhead row (the one at the front of coach with the flat panel in front of it). Although you sacrifice the under-the-seat room and some access to the overhead bin (which means even more planning in advance for what to take out and cram into that front pocket pre-flight), you gain a tiny, but contained, play area where the kiddo can move around a little. Also, my little guy has always really liked looking out the window.
Rotten kids on planes is like a bad tooth ache (and I’m a mother who has travelled extensively with my two daughters so I know it’s very, very hard work). As a couple of recent articles report (NY Times and Wall Street Journal) the majority of flyers would like to keep the little kiddos off the planes or corral them into a “Family Section”. Indeed Ryanair now has childless flights. So your tips are appreciated. But what I didn’t hear in your post is an acknowledgment of respect for your fellow passengers (the road warrior who is working, the student studying, the widow grieving, the ill person just trying to get to their medical treatment and yes, that couple just starting a honeymoon or vacation). Mothers like Ali need to shift their mindset away from me, me, me (really you thinks it’s OK to submit 120 people to your brat because “you’ll never see them again”). Now on the flip side I just recently sat next to a new baby for 5+ hours and that baby was perfect…..in large measure because of the thoughtful mother. Good luck.
Some people (like blogger Joanna Goddard) suggest making gift bag like things for people around your seat with earplugs, snacks and what not as an apology for an unpredictable baby that might cry.
Thanks for your comment! I guess I take it for granted that anyone looking for tips on flying with a baby/toddler is already concerned with being considerate. If it were just me in the cabin, everything would be easy-peasy, right? I think the rude fliers Alli is referencing are those ones who glare at you the minute you step onto a plane with an infant, the ones who shoot you a glance the minute your baby coos, or who shoot you daggers when you stand up to bounce the baby to sleep and might block their view of the movie for a minute as you shush and sway your way up and down the aisle. Most of all, I think it’s directed as those who scare parents away from traveling with young ones–which is such a crime! And I agree–don’t worry about them! Even a perfect baby cries, right?
Yes, thank you for clarifying, Ashley! I definitely didn’t mean that parents flying with kids should not be considerate of other passengers. Absolutely apologize where you can, soothe your child as best you can, and do not take up more space than necessary, among other things. But there are people on flights who are downright mean to passengers with kids–I’ve encountered them before. I’m saying that you cannot do anything to appease those kinds of people, so just get on with your flight and try your best not to feel the heat from the lasers they’re shooting at you with their eyes.
Your suggestion about sending your partner ahead of you and staying off the plane with the baby until the last possible minute, is genius! I can’t believe we haven’t thought about that before now. I can’t tell you how many times I have been internally begging them to take off already because May is on the verge of losing it. Once she gets in the air, she is pretty good, but that time before take off can be brutal. We have flown short distances with her a lot, and these are great tips! Thanks!
Thanks for the post – we are flying with our 13 month old in January for the first time and are just unsure of how it will go so I am gathering as many tips as I can ahead of time. Staying off the plane until the last moment is genius! As well as making friends with the flight attendants…smart! Our little one does not stop moving unless she is asleep so any perks of letting her crawl for a bit would be great. Thanks again and I enjoy reading your blog every day!
I really enjoyed reading this! I don’t have kids but all of your tips makes perfect sense! As a traveler without kids my husband and I always try to be considerate of those with kids, and offer to hold or watch their baby while they use the restroom, get up to stretch etc. I figured my parents traveled with me when I was a baby (and I most likely wasn’t perfect on flights) and eventually Nick and I will travel with kids – so maybe karma will be good to us when our time comes around! Everyone forgets we were ALL babies once!
Love your blog and all the travel tips for families. Just got back yesterday from a trip from Boston to Colorado, including layovers and redirected flights for refueling, with my four month old. We didn’t buy a seat for her, but asked at each gate to see if they had any free seats available and got lucky to have a row to ourselves on two of the flights. I would recommend a window seat if you are planning on breastfeeding, as I found my tall little girl was too long to lie across my lap and nurse without sticking out into the isle or onto my neighbors lap. Also, forget the travel boppy and just buy a cheap neck pillow to use in its place. Worked great! Fortunately, our Penny was a trooper and slept most of the time on the flights and flirted with everyone when she was awake.
Ashley, I loved this post!!! Great tips… I’ll use it next March when we fly with our 2 year old boy from Buenos Aires to Miami….long trip to visit friends… and very stressfull, and most of the time what stresses me is the looks of reproval of other people. We do the best we can, and are always respectful, but kids are kids, and long trips can be really stressfull for them.
Your tip of having one person board first has to be the smartest travel tip ever!! I’m always so concerned that I won’t have enough overhead space, or that we’ll be standing in the aisle forever, that I board first. Luckily, I’ve never had a negative travel experience with my little guy, but I will definitely do the next time we travel.
Having a new toy, coloring book and book has always worked well for us. The novelty of it being new (a surprise), even if it’s a dollar store pick, usually last for a while.
Once while traveling alone for business, I had to help a mom change her infant on the floor because the plane did not have a changing table. I hadn’t run into that situation beforehand, but I’ve now noticed that many planes don’t have them (on domestic flights). Not sure if you can find out from the airline beforehand, but for those traveling with little ones, it might be helpful to try.
So true! And how nice you were to help–she must have been so relieved to find a friendly fellow parent.
I’m sorry Alli but I get so annoyed with the super sensitive people who equate looks with being sooo mean. It’s a LOOK. Perhaps you are expecting this look and see it where it doesn’t exist. Had anyone yelled at you? Said something to you? Kicked you off a plane? Don’t forget that good parents are usually more rare than the neglectful or lazy, so we’ve all dealt with some bratty kids on flights. We can give a look without meaning anymore than “ugh, please don’t be a brat.” Don’t take every little thing so personally. And it really goes for every part of life. People just don’t waste that much of their time thinking about everyone around them and it screams of insecurity and defensiveness to bring “those people” up.
I’m sorry Jenny, but the blog was sharing tips, tricks, and minor suggestions on how to make your travel with infants and toddlers easier. Discussing “those people” is not wrong, because they are just a part of the whole ordeal. When you are around a large crowd of people and your child is fussing you DO get insecure because you don’t want people thinking those negative thoughts about your little bundle of joy and you certainly don’t want to disrupt their flight anymore than necessary.
From my own experience traveling with our son when he was 7 or 8 months as soon as we reached the gate for each flight the “looks” would start. It’s not just one or two, its much more common than that. When you are stressed out already from the usual stresses of travel PLUS traveling with a little one that requires twice as much stuff for you to keep track of, its hard to remember to not worry about “those people’s” looks. Tomorrow we leave for a night (flying Red Eye of course) of cross country travel with our now 19 month old son and I look forward to utilizing some of the suggestions from this blog. Thank you for posting!
Do you’ve any idea hw ridiculously illogical that sounds? Just since hulk has not died isn’t going to mean he has never ever been defeated,
i just mans that he’s quite luck he has in no way met anybody who managed to kill him. You mavel supporters claim that dc’s
heroes are overpowered, but since Hulk has in no way met his match, that takes an
entire great deal of suspense out of his fights. Hulk hit anything.
He hit it again, and once again, and once more, oh look,
he got punched! Now.. oh he hit them once again.
Superman for one particular factor is more intriguing, and was one of the
initial superheroes (the initial a single to matter) ever.
He has a wide range of powers, is not legally retarded,
and uses his head. Hulk is simply some crazy monster.
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